I have finally made a choice. And the way I did it, was easy... by being passive.
No matter who I talked to, it made sense if I chose England over Cyprus. After all, despite the cons, it has a good track record of sending the graduates to USA. On the other hand, Cyprus lacks this history completely. In addition to this, it does not even guarantee a place in UK Foundation Program. No matter which place I choose, I will still be an Indian Citizen and hence, my entrance into USA residency will be difficult. So I'd rather go to a college which at least guarantees me residency somewhere. Because despite what degree I earn, I will still have to work hard to get into the speciality of my choice.
Today Mom asked me what speciality I wanted to go into? I didn't respond because a part of me was worried that I will not be able to make it and then I will disappoint her. I didn't want her to have any hopes so that just in case, they do not get destroyed. I guess that is wrong. If I am not confident in myself, I will not get any help. Will summon courage someday to tell her the truth.
For now.. I will just let tomorrow's deadline pass that will seal my future. My uncertainty is due to my past failures and my future fears. I wished to get some help, but it didn't work out. I wish the heavens above would provide me with an answer. But no matter what, I am choosing what I deem to be the best choice right now. And hence, I hope I do not regret it.
No matter who I talked to, it made sense if I chose England over Cyprus. After all, despite the cons, it has a good track record of sending the graduates to USA. On the other hand, Cyprus lacks this history completely. In addition to this, it does not even guarantee a place in UK Foundation Program. No matter which place I choose, I will still be an Indian Citizen and hence, my entrance into USA residency will be difficult. So I'd rather go to a college which at least guarantees me residency somewhere. Because despite what degree I earn, I will still have to work hard to get into the speciality of my choice.
Today Mom asked me what speciality I wanted to go into? I didn't respond because a part of me was worried that I will not be able to make it and then I will disappoint her. I didn't want her to have any hopes so that just in case, they do not get destroyed. I guess that is wrong. If I am not confident in myself, I will not get any help. Will summon courage someday to tell her the truth.
For now.. I will just let tomorrow's deadline pass that will seal my future. My uncertainty is due to my past failures and my future fears. I wished to get some help, but it didn't work out. I wish the heavens above would provide me with an answer. But no matter what, I am choosing what I deem to be the best choice right now. And hence, I hope I do not regret it.
1 comment:
Good thing you made your choice and then surrendered. It's the ultimate trick :)
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